Tartan and Tea

11 Apr 2016

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

Yesterday when having breakfast at some spiffy Flemington café with my best friend, a waiter brought over my Earl Grey tea. “Oh, you can keep the milk. I’m not an amateur,” I teased him. He looked confused by my joke but whisked it away anyway. This is a regular thing for me, even if I order without milk I get it. Luckily today, someone made that same mistake.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

For the first time since owning it, I finally figured out how to style this incredible tartan cape I nabbed from Beleza Vintage. My family were out at a local café and I went to join them. I’d not long had breakfast so I ordered a piece of cake and pot of Earl Grey. My nephew woke up and so we took him out of the pram. He’s not strong enough yet to hold up his own body, so we take it in turns cuddling him on our laps. Whoever holds him has the table in front of them cleared, with everything out of the baby’s reach.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.


Mum had a bad neck so I got some baby cuddle time. After a quite while, my tea hadn’t come so my sister went up to cancel it. While she was gone, the wait staff arrived with it and after a little banter it was placed down on the table in front of me and directly in front of the baby. A plate, with two blisteringly hot metal pots of water and a small jug of milk, right in front of a baby.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

Naturally, Reuben went straight for it and luckily there was milk included and placed closest to him as that’s what his little hands grabbed first. Being unable to hold himself up, he certainly hasn’t mastered the art of coordination and as soon as he grabbed it he had no idea what to do with it aside from jerk it around. Milk went everywhere. I saw it start in slow motion and couldn’t do anything to stop it. There was nowhere to push the plate to get it out of the way. I couldn’t push myself back and had nowhere to turn him. Instead I started calling out to my family really loudly, panicking, like an idiot. Baby got milk all over him and he didn’t like that so he started crying. Milk also went all over my professional camera, my most expensive lens, my phone, my vintage tooled leather bag, my vintage cape, my bright red jeans, the table, and the floor…

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

Cape: Vintage from Beleza Vintage in Perth.
Shirt: sold out from Review
Jeans: custom made at Dejour Jeans in Fitzroy
Shoes: Sandler
Photos: Goldfields Girl
Location: Behind the Ballarat Town Hall

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

Mum took baby and dried his fat little legs off and I took to my camera, soaking up what I could of the milk using napkins. The staff gave us paper napkins and then sort of left us to it, which was really awkward. My sister dried my phone, legs and cape. My brother in law cleared the floor and the table. All the while staff kept trying to squeeze behind us, a couple rudely asking us to let them through. Once my camera was in the clear I went off to the toilets to try and dry my jeans under hand dryer. Every time the door to the toilets opened, the whole café got a nice view of me awkwardly holding my crotch under the dryer. I was so embarrassed.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

After all the excitement, we had a laugh because really, it could have gone much, much worse. I left the tea. We received no refund. I was not interested in hanging around to drink it after it arrived too late and everything where we were sitting was now sticky from the milk. We giggled for a bit about how I don’t take milk and how difficult it was for me to avoid it. Milk = 1, Liana = 0. I guess it also goes to show how important training is for all employees in all positions. It's unfair to expect someone to know things, even things that might seem 'common sense'. Training is about learning what you don't know you don't know. We all have to learn from somewhere.


@findingfemme wears tartan cape and red jeans in Ballarat autumn.

Do you drink tea? How do you take it?

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