The World's Most Perfect Shoe

3 Dec 2016


Many years ago when getting ready for my cousin's wedding, I was seeking out a bone/blush coloured shoe to match a polka dot in a Laura Ashley dress. I stumbled across the perfect one in MYER and thought little more about it. It was, after all, just an occasion shoe. I didn't realise at the time that I had just found the greatest shoe in the world.


I've often put my love of footwear down to my grandfather being a cobbler. I don't just look at shoes and think that they are pretty, I admire them when they are repairable or well made. The smell of leather and rubber glue when opening a shoe box still makes me think affectionately of my grandfather. This particular pair of shoes didn't rate at first, but then I found myself wearing them constantly. Not only is a neutral shoe endlessly elegant, it will go with anything. I wore them to work all the time because they were comfortable and because they fit so well I could easily run in them.


Anyway, about a year into this accidental love affair one, after several heel tip replacements, part of the top of the shoe split! I was devastated because it was irreplaceable. So, I contacted the company and asked if they had any more.

They said they didn't, but I begged for them to let me know when the shoes came back. They responded with 'check our website' and 'we don't know if we will or will not get them back in lolz'. (Legit, it wasn't that exact wording by I'm summarising and that's how it felt)

So I did. At first, I checked weekly. Then I checked monthly. Then, to my utter horror, I checked after a couple of months to discover that they had brought them back and my size was already sold out. Kill me.

So I emailed them again:

I emailed you over a year ago in desperation because my favourite shoes were at the end of their life. Was told they weren't coming back in, but that they would be considered. I waited. I checked the new season. Nothing.

I have just discovered to my utter horror that these shoes have been back in stock and I've missed them. I've been checking intermittently every few months, but I've totally missed them!

I have been waiting for them for years. I can't even begin to express how sick I feel knowing I have missed them again. I NEED THESE SHOES.

Please please please. Can someone check for me? I need the Louis Luxe in light tan leather. The one that looks like a matte nude in a 37. I had them last in 2012/13. I can't go without them for another few years until they come back in stock. If I had known they were in stock I would have bought 3 pairs.


Will they come back? Are there any more? Please help, or I may have to move to a shoeless nunnery to live out my days.


I just can't even.

So, they emailed be back again with the SAME STORY. Check the website. We may or may not get them back in. #soznotsoz #lulz #suckstobeyou


This time, I refused to be beaten. I subscribed to their newsletter. I spent 2 years resisting the urge to unsubscribe from the bloody thing. 2 years. If at this point you can't tell I'm in Slytherin, this is a hint.

Except that, they didn't put the bloody shoes in the newsletter. I missed out on them a third time. I cursed the shoe gods. I cursed the bloody shoe brand (thank you, Siren you perfect you creating jerk faces). I bought the shoes in patent red. I wore those red shoes around with proud angry strides. Like, the shoe is perfect. It never goes out of style. Why not just keep it on the shelves at all times? Why keep up with this silly dance of in-stock/out-of-stock? Why?

Then, two weeks ago, when doing my monthly check of their website, there in all their glory were my darling shoes. In stock. In my size. Here they are.

I swear I could have vomited with victory and anger and resentful happiness.

So I bought two pairs.

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